For the last several weeks, I’ve felt slightly out of touch with God. I’ve begged and pleaded for forgiveness if sin is an issue, read the Bible looking for answers through His word, and fallen on my knees searching for His presence. Yes, I would prefer to live on the mountaintop. I want the emotion, that natural “high” when the connection between child and Heavenly Father seem strongest. I know God is there, but I want to feel Him.
Unfortunately, life has to be lived in the day-to-day mundane existence, where trials and troubles exist, and emotions are carried like the wind. I can’t trust only what I “feel.” I must trust what I know to be true. God’s word tells us He will never leave or forsake us. He is here, right now, forever near.
This morning provided a visual. Please stay with me while I try to explain. Friday morning I went to the hospital to receive a PICC line. (The PICC line is a small catheter inserted into a peripheral vein on the inside of the arm about three inches from the elbow. The line runs through the vein to the superior vena cava or the right atrium of the heart.) Through the port I receive antibiotics every eight hours for the next month. I’ll be honest, the process is not fun. Thank You Lord for Lidocaine.
The doctor supplies a weeks worth of self-deflating balls of antibiotics, saline, and heparin shots for home administration. The medicine balls are kept in the refrigerator and must be warmed to room temperature before they are attached to the port. At 4:45 this morning, I removed the medicine ball and waited until 5:30 to begin the process. The first few minutes, the medicine was still cool and I could feel it running through the vein. After about five minutes, I couldn’t feel the liquid anymore. Yet I could watch the ball slowly deflate, and know without a doubt, the medicine was being delivered.
In the same way, I know God is with me. As I watch the process, I can see the ways He provides and shows His love. My sweet friend, Cherie, drove me to the hospital, and sat with me for almost eight hours–what an amazing evidence of God’s love through friendship.
I look around at my family, the friends I’ve been given, and the life I have been blessed to live. His love is constantly pouring into my life through His Holy Spirit. He is always near. I only needed to open my eyes.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Oh how I praise You! Thank You for always being near. Thank you for the visual this morning Father. Please open my eyes to see, every day, every moment, Your hand working. Help me never doubt based on mere emotions. Thank You for Your word to guide, the touch of Your love through others, the sweet fragrance of Your love that blooms in nature, and the grace and mercy always available. Sweet Father, thank You.
I pray in the Name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, Who is my Savior,
“And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly” (Romans 5:3-6 NIV).